Would you give everything?

Sorry I miss yesterday's post...I went to a party and I was too tired to write...

Emotionally drainned and soo very tired...

and I still feel empty inside...

So with today, Sunday, was another day...just another day...another wreck caused by a father, another hurt burned by a mother....and ya know, that I can take...what I cant take it...

The feeling of being empty and yet, the hurt still plagues me...the hurt from the people I lost, the people I cherish....

Let me ask ya something, how far are you willing to go to make someone smile? how much are you willing to give up just for a moment of time to spend it with that someone? Most people wont know the answer...

You know sometimes when you are in a relationship, you can give up certain things, like some time, or maybe drinking, or maybe clubbing, or maybe playing at a Cyber Cafe, things like that...but at the back of your mind, all these things, you CAN afford to give up for this speacial someone...but I look at it from a different view...its the things that you CANNOT afford to give up that really defines you.

Rip yourself apart from real life, tear reality away, and you are given with JUST one chance at bringing a dream to life. That is the deal that you can make with the world. And this deal comes with a heavy price, the price is if your dream dies, you die along with it...

Most people wont take that chance...Many wont even think that deal exist...but let me tell you, it does...and let me tell you about it...

Living your life right now, you got school or college? work or retired? doesnt matter, ya got a life right? friends? Family? stress? heartbreak? everything...thats your life, and no one can tell you its not the real world, because its your world and its real. So thats your life...now ask yourself, can you break apart from it? I'm not saying like...do something crazy that you wont normally do, no no no, I know many can do that, what I am saying is, BREAK APART FROM IT. Give it all up, everything...

Can you? now, you will answer NO, who wants to give up a life? and if so, wtf for? now this is what I am talking about...how many people will answer YES? only those who got nothing to lose will answer yes to my question...BUT, how many of those who got EVERYTHING TO LOSE, will answer YES?

Think about it for a moment...

This is what it all comes down to...THE DEAL...this is the deal, give up everything you have in your life right now, with everything to lose......and what for? the answer is:
TO EMBRACE A DREAM
Before I got into this, let me tell you something first, MANY people will never know of this deal because it doesnt have to exist for them...I'll explain later...

Now to embrace a dream, to give up everything...here is my version of my deal, and maybe you can see what I mean...ok?

like I wrote in my previous blogs, I had a life, I had a pretty good life, before Jennifer. Even I was a bad boy casanova, and I didnt feel like I belonged to that group, I had a life, I could have easily just dropped the bad boy thing and became a normal person. Just living my life, minding my own bisness, but no...

The day I made that deal, was the day I camped at Jennifer Seako's room. It was that day that I traded my life embracing my dream. My dream was to see a smile on Jennifer's face, no matter the cost...and I traded my world in pursuit of that dream...I gave up everything that might have put distance between me and her...School,Friends,Family...all those...I gave up most parts of it for her...now, if I had succeeded, I would have my dream, and that would be all anyone could ever need. And to add on, that dream can grow...but no...I failed...and my life burned along with my dream...I am faced with emptiness and sorrow...a price that I had to pay...

Now I am left with the echo of that dream, I made my deal and the life and world I once knew, I find it impossible to return, so I am like this now, a person who would give everything I have to see a smile on a face, and I cannot go back into becoming normal - being just minding my own biz...

So that is my deal, I traded my life chasing something, and to me, that is what defines life. How many would make that deal? how many would trade everything you have, and you had everything to lose, JUST FOR A CHANCE!!! to chase something you wanted...something you want bad enough till everything else just didnt matter? would you trade? let me tell you something...you would...when you feel the emotion...that passion and desperation...you would trade it all...

Most people think that by having a life, like...a great bf, a stable job, a high paying salary, straight A's, thats embracing a dream, Hell no....thats just living a life...you think its a dream, but its not...A real DREAM is something you want bad enough that you're willing to give up your life to chase it...you have a bf, are you willing to give up...lets say your education for him? or the other way around for the guys...are you willing to give up your job or education for this girl? Tis the essence that I speak of...

So this blog, ask yourself this question, and be it the ONLY question you should ask yourself when you finish reading this

ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE or ARE YOU CHASING A DREAM?

As for me, I chased a dream...and I died chasing that dream...my dream grew from Jennifer to Lianne, to Sue Yi and To Kelly...I gave up my life...

BRAVERY to embrace the Deal, COURAGE to bear with the broken pieces of a dead dream...

So thats about it then...

I dont have the strength to share a memory tonight...so I'll share one another time....