Palace of Ice

Today I went back to Taylors...saw a few friends...it was ok...
Comfirmed that now a second couple has emerged from Pl-3, my former class, that is Calvin and Grace. My deepest and best wishes to the both of them as they start something together. Its a beautiful thing...

I saw Sue Yi today...yeah I shouldnt have...but I had to...everyone knows the heart does the taking...I had to see her...even if she erased me from her life, even when she doesnt even wanna see I'm there...I just had to see her...and every single wound and hurt I tried soo hard to close in my heart and soul tored open again...everything collasped...and I came facing the same haunting and devastating emotions I tried soo hard to run away from...

I saw her, just for around 3 minutes...and she grew even more beautiful than I last saw her which was only a few weeks ago...yeah I moved college a few weeks ago and thats when I stopped seeing her, but today...she grew more amazing, more beautiful...

I guess when I was still talking with her, I never realised that everyday she grew more and more, like watching a rose unfold its petals in the morning rain, she keeps on growing...today she reminded me what I had lost, what I tried to cherish but did not cherish enough...

What do you know of such pain? what do you know of such emotions...?

Are you fit to judge me?

If thoughts like "oh this guy should get a life" or "stop being soo dramatic" should cross your mind....Are you judging me?
Are you that heartless? when even heroes deserve a Right to Bleed, when soilders need some time to rest...are you that naive? to simply give your thoughts on someone who has bleed a road with tears? someone who simply been through soo much and just wants some time to learn how to walk again...you can give me any reason you like, "I know how you feel, I've been through this before, Its no excuse" all that...you have no idea...and be someone real, because if you think the things I just wrote about, then you defitently believe that everyone is different in their own way, so you would have NO FREAKING IDEA what I've been through, and how much I am trying now to stand up again, so be someone real...and dont judge me...

But what if you dont? what if your heart can feel what I write? just what if...you accuatly feel the pain I write...because you share your own wounds of the heart...then if you may...allow me to tell you that you are someone worth while...

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Sorry I still cannot write a memory...
and sorry I didnt blog for awhile...I'm just not well...