Finale

Well everyone, I'm leaving Taylors...I'm heading over to HELP...its comfirmed, today is the last day I am a taylorian student...

Ok first off, its been fun, a great time at Taylors, with many many friends made and many many smiles laughed...I will miss nearly everyone I've ever met there...yeah....

As to why I changed college...its simple...I told my father, that I couldnt do well over there, and to him, if I do bad, he looks bad so ok...I got my swtich...and I comfirmed it today...I am moving to HELP...

The more personal and REAL reason as to why I'm moving college...is because of Sue-Yi...I've done enough...and I think we both have suffered enough pain and hurt...

I watched her a few days ago...and she didnt smile...her eyes glowed to me, with hurt and sorrow...it tore me apart again and again and again...so yes...I am leaving Taylors, and maybe with the hope that she can find some solace in my absence, and move on...its a hope I cannot indulge or believe in...but atleast its there...

I am moving to HELP because I cannot stand the hurt, the hurt I have to bear for loving her, and I cannot stand the pain she has to endure in my presence...so I'll leave...hey, a few months of education is worth to find some peace...its good anyway, because I feel empty...its for the best...like Jenny and like Kelly and Lianne...I want Sue Yi to smile...even thou I know she can never really smile...yeah...soon to be explained...

Today, nth else happened, expect I finally confessed to S, this really nice girl that I wanted to become her chaperon if she ever got into trouble with a relationship. S is a girl I found while at Taylors see...and you know what scares me? she has the same eyes as Jennifer...only alittle more intense...I see Jenny's essence in her, I dont know why...Maybe its not the eyes but that little beat I feel in my soul when I talked to her...I'm still empty inside but she seems to be able to just give me a feeling of a light beating heart...dont know why, but I plan to find out...Everything about S is a mystery to me...something alluring, and enchating...and I seem to jump over myself to want to protect that...call me foolish, call me sentimental, call me whatever you want...but right now, I dont have an explanation to what I feel for S, its not a crush, its not liking her, its not flirting her...its something else...when I find out what...I'll let you know...

Well thats about it today, I still lack the strength to share a memory...so when I do, I'll post it up first thing...thanks....