Friday, September 22, 2006

Musical Box of a Graveyard

Hi...

Ever been to a graveyard...?

Its not a place where many would prefer to go...believe me...I know...It gets to you...knowing you are surrounded by the dead...what stories they can tell...

Trust me when I say...it gets to you......even in the brightest sunlight...you watch the ground knowing the dead sleeps there...Spend too much time in a graveyard...and you begin to hear the echoes of a grand melody...

I know I sound dark and almost bordering insanity...but I've spent too much time in a graveyard to know sane from insane...

Bad enough to be in a graveyard...but to know someone precious lies there...have you ever been to a graveyard?

For the past month, I've been visiting Kelly's grave almost on a daily basis...I dont know why...something compelled me to go...like something you have to do even you dont know why you must do it...

It scared me at first...always going to a Graveyard...I know all would think I've become insane or depressed to such a state that I lost my mind to some extent...but if it was like that...why do I write now with enough intelligence to spark your interest?

For the first week or so...I was scared to be surrouded by graves...so I clung on to the only one I wanted to visit...Kelly's Grave...But as time flew by, which it did...I noticed that I spent quite some time there...1 hour at first turned to 3 by the second week...I didnt know what I did there...I only can recall staring and talking to Kelly...

By the second week...I questioned by contienued arrival to the graveyard...I didnt find an answer...I just wanted to be there...maybe because it reminded me what I've lost...or maybe I find comfort with Kelly...maybe I just like going there...all these reasons I found to be irrelevant because it wasnt the real reason...and the real reason is that...I just dont know...

Reasons...reasons for me to be there would be nothing more than excuses...excuses so that I can cling on to something torn away from me...I know I should move on...and yet I cannot...Is it the childhood that Kelly brings that calms me? when everything is sooo innocent and beautiful...or is it her love that warms me? Reasons.......do I need one?

3rd week...my mind must be playing tricks on me...for every now and then visiting the graveyard, I heard faint music in my head...a musical box kind of music...and it is then when I began to really think to myself and freak myself out that I might be losing my mind...I might be just going crazy due to depression........impossible...I sought the help of a shrink...a mental doctor...

That doctor told me that I was not insane...I was fine...that I just suffered normal heartache and sad emotions like many others...it was weird...that I did not told the good doctor my whole story...only part of it...you could have said I tricked the doctor into making her see what I wanted her to see...at home in my room...I asked myself...I have enough intelligence to forge an illusion strong enough for a shrink...am I still going crazy?

I went back to the graveyard...4 weeks had past...sitting beside Kelly's grave...I hear music...its stronger now...its a beautiful melody, one befitting a dance of Kings and Queens with the romance of angels...am I insane? because I really do hear music...

Maybe its my soul crying out for attention...maybe its my loneliness...maybe its just me going crazy...but for now...I dont need reasons...I dont need excuses...I go to the graveyard...

I hear the melody...............................................................it calms me....

Have you ever visited a Graveyard...?